Do These Training Wheels Make My Manifesto Look Big?

Have you ever had the feeling that the universe is trying to tell you something? Yeah. Me too. Usually I just ignore it. Ok, this is complicated so I will get to the point. Several things have happened over the last few months that have given me the determination to change my status quo and break out of my box. Ok, perhaps determination is too strong a word. What is the word for "I'm still chicken but I think perhaps it is about time I do change because I am turning 40 next week and so what better time to finally break out of my shell and do something really different, really hard and really unexpected even if I don't really want to?" Where the heck is my thesaurus...

So, if you can, follow my train of thought through the last few months...

First, an old college roommate announced that she was training for her first triathlon. Something I have always thought I might like to do, but too afraid.

Then a friend suggested that I consider doing a local century bike ride this summer. Yeah, right.

Then a beautiful young lady who is livin' the life and blogging about it *here* posted what I will call her "Fear Manifesto." She is doing it. She is busting out. Naming her fears, conquering her fears and telling the whole blogosphere about it. I was touched by her original post and a follow-up entitled "what are you waiting for?" So I asked NatureGirl, "NatureGirl, what are you waiting for?" She had a whole list that I will not bore you with now. But then she had the gall to remind me of my own recent post *here* in which I was dumb enough to say that I was finally ready to take a step outside of my box.

So....I asked Hunky Hubby if he would like to ride that Century with me. He would. One hundred miles. I was thinking of doing the 1/2 though. That sounded doable, and not too much of a challenge, and even kinda fun, and isn't that enough, and couldn't I call that my box-breakout!

But then (stay with me here I know it is confusing)...a girlfriend who is doing a different 100 miler this spring right before her 40th birthday, gave me a good talking to a la...

"What do you mean only half, you are fit, it is your 40th birthday for crying out loud, it's only an extra 50 miles, yeah it is long and hard and you could wind up with a bike seat permanently affixed to your posterior, embrace it, go big or go home!" And yes, those were her exact words.

So Now...I don't know. I think I may actually want to go through with this thing, crazy as it seems. Hmmmm....yeah....who knew? But how do you shed the fear? And what is it that I am really afraid of? I think perhaps...

Quote of the Day:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, Our presence automatically liberates others.

--Marianne Williamson author