Friday, February 26, 2010

Do These Training Wheels Make My Manifesto Look Big?

Have you ever had the feeling that the universe is trying to tell you something? Yeah. Me too. Usually I just ignore it. Ok, this is complicated so I will get to the point. Several things have happened over the last few months that have given me the determination to change my status quo and break out of my box. Ok, perhaps determination is too strong a word. What is the word for "I'm still chicken but I think perhaps it is about time I do change because I am turning 40 next week and so what better time to finally break out of my shell and do something really different, really hard and really unexpected even if I don't really want to?" Where the heck is my thesaurus...
So, if you can, follow my train of thought through the last few months...
First, an old college roommate announced that she was training for her first triathlon. Something I have always thought I might like to do, but too afraid.
Then a friend suggested that I consider doing a local century bike ride this summer. Yeah, right.
Then a beautiful young lady who is livin' the life and blogging about it *here* posted what I will call her "Fear Manifesto." She is doing it. She is busting out. Naming her fears, conquering her fears and telling the whole blogosphere about it. I was touched by her original post and a follow-up entitled "what are you waiting for?" So I asked NatureGirl, "NatureGirl, what are you waiting for?" She had a whole list that I will not bore you with now. But then she had the gall to remind me of my own recent post *here* in which I was dumb enough to say that I was finally ready to take a step outside of my box.
So....I asked Hunky Hubby if he would like to ride that Century with me. He would. One hundred miles. I was thinking of doing the 1/2 though. That sounded doable, and not too much of a challenge, and even kinda fun, and isn't that enough, and couldn't I call that my box-breakout!
But then (stay with me here I know it is confusing)...a girlfriend who is doing a different 100 miler this spring right before her 40th birthday, gave me a good talking to a la...
"What do you mean only half, you are fit, it is your 40th birthday for crying out loud, it's only an extra 50 miles, yeah it is long and hard and you could wind up with a bike seat permanently affixed to your posterior, embrace it, go big or go home!" And yes, those were her exact words.
So Now...I don't know. I think I may actually want to go through with this thing, crazy as it seems. Hmmmm....yeah....who knew? But how do you shed the fear? And what is it that I am really afraid of? I think perhaps...
Quote of the Day:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, Our presence automatically liberates others.

--Marianne Williamson author


  1. I think you should do it! My sister ran her first marathon many years ago and said she would never do it again. I think she caught the bug and can't stop doing them now. You may become some amazing cyclist that rides all the time! Your neighbor across the street definitely supports you!! Go for it!

  2. Go for it!! I think it is a great idea. And seriously, what do you have to be afraid of? I grew up afraid of failure but then I married a man whose theory on life is, "So what if you fail? At least you tried. That is a greater success than not trying at all." I have learned to embrace that.

    Happy Birthday next week. Forty is great. You are going to love it.

  3. I think you should go for it, too. Like Joy... says, what do you have to lose?

    I love the quote at the end, by the way. Thanks for reminding me of it. It's just what I needed.

    My word verification is "mogynoss". I don't know why, but that makes me laugh. Have a great one!

  4. yes!! you can most DEFINITELY do it! :) if i can face my fears, so can you! but i definitely know my knees are knocking too ;)

    i keep just telling myself that even just a little action of doing something to get myself closer to my goal is a good thing. i can be very impatient & want things to be perfect and to be a pro now, but i'm learning to be patient in all the steps in getting to my goal.

    keep us posted on your progress!!

  5. I love that quote at the end of your post. I put it in my sons' graduation books. I was just looking at the followers on my blog, Incredible Women, and saw your name - thought I'd get to know you. Cute blog!


  6. Love that quote!
    And can I just say wow! 50 miles or 100 miles, I would be so impressed! You'll have to blog all about it when you do it!
    And Happy Birthday... sometime this week!
    Oh, and thanks for commenting on my MMB post. I was so afraid it would come off all wrong and I'd have people wanting to throw rocks at my head!

  7. I love the way you write! I will have to come back and visit more often.:) And I agree with all the other the marathon!:)

  8. You should so do the marathon. It sounds like fun. And by fun, I mean, I'm glad you are the one doing it and not me.

    Happy Birthday!

  9. Not to sound like a total brat but isn't the quote by Nelson Mendela? I am loving your blog. I still talk about you-there is no way you're 40! I love how people become frozen in time after you leave home. And there is no possible way your children are so big. no way. I'm just loving everything that I'm reading. I can honestly say that you make up a big peice of who I am today and many of the things that I stand for and I never really thanked you for all of it. Boy, I was awful and such a mess. You need to ride that 100 miles. You can do it.

  10. Sorry, not Nelson Mandela...

    It is from Marianne Williamson's book " A Return to Love"

    Quote from Wikipedia: The famous passage from her book is often erroneously attributed to the inaugural address of Nelson Mandela. About the misattribution Williamson said,

    "As honored as I would be had President Mandela quoted my words, indeed he did not. I have no idea where that story came from, but I am gratified that the paragraph has come to mean so much to so many people."