I don't really know where this post is going (Ok, true...I never do). I DO, however know where this one came from. A beautiful young lady over at BalancedMoms. Crystal recently posted a link to my simple little blog and said some pretty nice things about me as well. I was taken aback albeit flattered and touched. She admires me? Um, hello...are there not mirrors in your house?! I certainly do not mean to embarrass this girl or offend, but I need to make this point. I will speak in generalities though. I esteem women like this one who seem to have everything I will never have, not in a jealous way, but in a "she sure as heck cannot find anything to admire about me" way. Girls with classic beauty, good fashion sense, perfectly decorate homes, cooking skills, sewing skills, whatever it may be, cannot possibly wish to walk in any of my sensible shoes.
Don't get me wrong, I do not fancy myself the Hunchback or anything, but I have always thought myself a bit of a nerd. Most likely to be called "cute" rather than beautiful. Never on the cheer squad, but rather secretary of the Latin club. Semper Ubi, Sub Ubi. Little Latin humor. My family label..."the smart one." My sister? "The pretty one". Ridiculous! We are both smart and pretty thank you very much! Anyway, Crystal's comment got me thinking. Thinking about something that happened to me about 10 years ago.
There was a house that I loved in a neighborhood near me. It never went up for sale, so we finally built nearby. Soon after our home was finished, yep you guessed it, the house came for sale. A lovely young family moved in and began attending my same church. The mother was gorgeous, of course! All put together...something I will never be, and living in what I thought was the cutest house on the block. I immediately thought, "Oh well, I guess she won't want to be friends with the likes of me."
Shortly after they moved in we were given a church assignment together and became friends. I eventually told her of my first impression and she laughed. The previous summer it turns out that she had watched me playing in the yard with my kids and planting flower beds in front of my brand new house every week as she dropped kids off at my neighbor's for music lessons, and had said to herself, "Wow, that girl has it all!" We both laughed, and cried and hugged each other 'cause that is what women do when they realize how stupid they have both been. Plus I love irony!
Ok, so you get the point, I hope. Good, because I am not sure I know how to explain it. I thought that I had learned something from that lesson, but here I did it again. I assumed more than once that because another woman was "all that" and a great big bag of super nice chips that I did not have anything to offer her. Luckily neither of them was so shallow. We all have plenty to offer one another. Women of faith and kindness, of strength, intelligence, creativity and insight. Real women, real lives, real fun! I am learning...thank you all for teaching me.
Quote of the Day: "A woman's whole life is a history of the affections."
~Washington Irving writer
That is the sweetest post ever. Actually found you through Crystals blog. Why do we always do that to each other. My best friend now, is someone I thought would never want to be my friend because she was so perfect and come to find out, she is just as "not so perfect" as me. Good post!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds to me that you are "all that" and just don't realize it. It was a sweet post to read. I am sure everyone can relate to it at some time.
ReplyDeleteWow Rose and Joy...my head will swell. I mean...you guys are swell! Thanks so much for stopping by and taking time to comment. I look forward to getting to know you Rose...and thanks for sticking with me for so long JFYJ...
ReplyDeleteI think we all do that. Lord knows I do it to the ladies at church. They probably think I'm completely stuck up, when in fact I'm just too busy thinking of what I could possibly offer them to to just be there and get to know them. I'm working really diligently right now to work on just being. My house is not as nice (by a long shot) as my daughters' friends. But it's mine. My figure is not as trim as some of the women at church, but it's my body. and so on. It seems to me that as I take ownership and pride in what I do have to offer, the rest will fall into place, right? Great post.
ReplyDeleteYou have such a great way of putting thoughts into words. So here is a thought to you from me. You are beautiful on the inside and out! Yes, cute, smart and many other nice things too but definitely beautiful. This I know by seeing you go about everyday life raising your family and helping raise mine sometimes also. Thanks for your good attitude, good example and keeping thing real.
ReplyDelete...sniff...thank you all...
ReplyDeleteI think it is easy think someone has it all when looking in from the oustide. I do it all the time. It can kind of make a person miserable. Truth is, they don't. We all wish we had what we don't. Once you get to know the person, you realize they are just another person like you who isn't perfect, but pretty darn cool. I serve in the nusery in my ward with a woman who is 15+ years older than me. She told me yesterday that she was scared of me when I first started coming to the ward. She thought I was perfect and everything she wished she could have been. What the!? Once she got to know me she realized how silly that was...
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