Monday, March 22, 2010

Brother Can You Spare A Fig Leaf and other things Bob Newhart Never Said

Simplify. In the timeless words of Henry Thoreau, "Simplify! Simplify!" He died in 1862, so I have to wonder what exactly was over complicating his life really, but still an almost daily mantra of mine. I can feel the clutter building again. Time for a good spring clean. Desk clutter, closet clutter, side table clutter, life clutter, mind clutter. Needs. To. Go. Plus cleaning things might help keep me warm as I, eh hem, patiently wait for spring to spring. Although I might just leave the closets and get outta Dodge. Fly south. Follow the sun.
Breathe. I do not know who first said it. Eve probably. You know, "It's ok Honey, everything will be fine. Just breathe, and here, put this on." Or it might have been Pink Floyd. Either way, good advice. Take a step back, get some perspective. Inhale. Exhale.
Laugh. Or at least smile. It is hard to keep up frustration, resentment or worry when we are smiling. Be honest. How many moms have been right in the middle of a temper tantrum (and by this I mean Their own) when the phone rings. We take a deep breath, pick it up and with faker than fake smile deliver a very pleasant, "Hello." Within minutes we are calm and happy again, the friend on the other end none the wiser. The children who were not smart enough to run and hide during the brief reprieve stand stunned and gawking, open-mouthed and wondering where the heck Mr. Hyde went. As the great philosopher Bob Newhart once said, "Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on."
There you have it. Three little words that I am focusing on today.
What are your three? Share...
Quote of the Day: "The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right."
--Mark Twain author and really smart guy who makes me laugh

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Buts, Butterflies & Birthdays...Oh My!

I have had so much on my mind lately that I have had trouble wrangling it in and formulating even one cohesive thought slightly worth blahging about. I guess I need to just pick a topic and go with it. So what shall it be... Family History? This has been on my mind as of late. Kids? Spring? Simplicity? Getting older? I turned 40 a couple of days ago. Perhaps that explains the reflective mood. Love? Marriage? Food? It has all been bumping around inside my head, scrambling the grey matter and threatening my daily peace.
Forty. 40. The big 4-oh. Still on the upside of the hill. I mean 50 is half, right? I don't feel sorry about getting older, just marveling at life to this point. In some ways I feel like I have not done enough with the time. Yet it also feels like a lifetime has passed in a tiny moment.
The first birthday of mine that Hunky Hubby and I celebrated together was my 21st. Nineteen years ago. We were engaged shortly after that, and married that following summer. Man, were we young. Our oldest child is quickly approaching that age and I am anxious to formulate the perfect advice for her as she embarks on the age of creating a home of her own. Some days I can only come up with the ubiquitous rebuke..."I hope someday you have one just like you!" But I know that only goes so far, and if history is any portend, I am pretty much assured that she will!
I honestly believe that the best, supreme, most useful gift we can give to our children is to love our spouse. Hooray! I can totally do that. Ok, well, somedays I know I fall short, but...
Ok, you are right...No buts. Love my Hunky Hubby. Got it.
Now, I know that this will offend some, and I know full well that sometimes not everything is within our control, but I don't believe in this "we just fell out of love" business. Love is not something that happens to you. It is something that you make happen. Every day. Or not. Period. That is the one thing that I want my children to understand as they go out into the world to find love and make lives for themselves. I am not so romantic as to think that there is only one person for each of us. Soul mates? No. Sorry girls, I just don't buy it. You choose. You choose wisely. And then
Sorry, a little preachy. Sheesh! This is not turning out at all like I had planned. My feelings for that hunk of a hubby that is mine have been so close to the surface lately that I wanted to share just how wonderful and lovely a lifelong marriage can be, but it is sounding a bit like a big truck load of work! Frankly, it is, but I would not trade it. I just cannot believe how blessed we are to be together. How much we still like each other. How much I still look forward to him coming home every evening. We married young, and have had the benefit of growing up together, growing more alike than different. Growing from "playing house" with that first little one to finding our path as parents and choosing the direction to take our family. Living and laughing (sometimes fighting and forgiving) together while hopefully imparting those things that are truly important to us along the way.
So here I am totally in love. A little embarrassed that I get teary eyed thinking about how much I still like that boy. He grew up over the last 20 years and became a really wonderful man, but sometimes I still see the boy, and get butterflies all over again.
Quote of the Day: "A happy man marries the girl he loves;
a happier man loves the girl he marries." - anonymous ( Clearly this goes both ways...)