Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Buts, Butterflies & Birthdays...Oh My!

I have had so much on my mind lately that I have had trouble wrangling it in and formulating even one cohesive thought slightly worth blahging about. I guess I need to just pick a topic and go with it. So what shall it be... Family History? This has been on my mind as of late. Kids? Spring? Simplicity? Getting older? I turned 40 a couple of days ago. Perhaps that explains the reflective mood. Love? Marriage? Food? It has all been bumping around inside my head, scrambling the grey matter and threatening my daily peace.
Forty. 40. The big 4-oh. Still on the upside of the hill. I mean 50 is half, right? I don't feel sorry about getting older, just marveling at life to this point. In some ways I feel like I have not done enough with the time. Yet it also feels like a lifetime has passed in a tiny moment.
The first birthday of mine that Hunky Hubby and I celebrated together was my 21st. Nineteen years ago. We were engaged shortly after that, and married that following summer. Man, were we young. Our oldest child is quickly approaching that age and I am anxious to formulate the perfect advice for her as she embarks on the age of creating a home of her own. Some days I can only come up with the ubiquitous rebuke..."I hope someday you have one just like you!" But I know that only goes so far, and if history is any portend, I am pretty much assured that she will!
I honestly believe that the best, supreme, most useful gift we can give to our children is to love our spouse. Hooray! I can totally do that. Ok, well, somedays I know I fall short, but...
Ok, you are right...No buts. Love my Hunky Hubby. Got it.
Now, I know that this will offend some, and I know full well that sometimes not everything is within our control, but I don't believe in this "we just fell out of love" business. Love is not something that happens to you. It is something that you make happen. Every day. Or not. Period. That is the one thing that I want my children to understand as they go out into the world to find love and make lives for themselves. I am not so romantic as to think that there is only one person for each of us. Soul mates? No. Sorry girls, I just don't buy it. You choose. You choose wisely. And then
Sorry, a little preachy. Sheesh! This is not turning out at all like I had planned. My feelings for that hunk of a hubby that is mine have been so close to the surface lately that I wanted to share just how wonderful and lovely a lifelong marriage can be, but it is sounding a bit like a big truck load of work! Frankly, it is, but I would not trade it. I just cannot believe how blessed we are to be together. How much we still like each other. How much I still look forward to him coming home every evening. We married young, and have had the benefit of growing up together, growing more alike than different. Growing from "playing house" with that first little one to finding our path as parents and choosing the direction to take our family. Living and laughing (sometimes fighting and forgiving) together while hopefully imparting those things that are truly important to us along the way.
So here I am totally in love. A little embarrassed that I get teary eyed thinking about how much I still like that boy. He grew up over the last 20 years and became a really wonderful man, but sometimes I still see the boy, and get butterflies all over again.
Quote of the Day: "A happy man marries the girl he loves;
a happier man loves the girl he marries." - anonymous ( Clearly this goes both ways...)


  1. Well, Happy Birthday! You look great - 40 is not that old. I'm there too, ha ha.
    I think it is a reflective time and I feel like I haven't accomplished as much as I thought also so I have plans for the next 40 - oh yeah!

    Cute picture of you guys.
    I enjoy following your blog!
    Laura @ Enjoying the simple things

  2. I hope that you had a great birthday! I always enjoy reading your blog! I think that your husband is great too!

  3. Happy Birthday!! I was just thinking that I remember when you turned 39. Forty is great though. Personally I think no one is even credible until they are 40 and I think 42 is the age I will stay forever--and have been at for the past several years.

    I love what you wrote about your husband. That was very sweet. I agree that you have to keep working at your marriage and staying in love--but that is the fun part of being married.:-)

  4. P.S. About asking how many _____ I have (and that was a funny comment) they take two pictures of each side, only twice they didn't get a clear picture and had to do it over.

  5. Happy Birthday!

    We just had an anniversary earlier this week and I asked my husband if he was sad we didn't have the same flame as in our early days. Passion and love and commitment - sure. But we've had a hard few months with jobs and health and things, and you forget about lighting the spark. Which is why I loved what you said about "you choose wisely and then you make it work". AMEN. It takes work every single day. And oh, is it worth it.

  6. Thanks for stopping by my blog!
    I agree with what you said about marriage, and I think it's wonderful that you and your husband are still very much in love. I look forward to writing a post like this myself in 20 years! : )

  7. Such a great post! And happy birthday! Thanks for visiting my blog recently. It's always nice to meet another Leslie and another LDS mom. :)

  8. Great blog! But I am so confused about the quote. Can you marry the one you love and love the one you marry? I am so confused. I am not a smart man...

    Must be that University of Utah degree not working for me... (he he)

  9. Naturegirl, happy birthday, first of all. Thanks for your comment on my MMB post today. Second of all, I wanted to stand up and cheer after I read your post. I loved all you said about marriage. Bravo!!! I hope you'll put this on MMB's post of the week thing they do on Saturdays. Heck, I hope you'll write it up and send it to them and see if they'll post the whole thing. That was really, really good. Thanks!

  10. What a beautiful couple!!! I love this picture!!!
    Happy Birthday!!! Getting older, just means we're getting wiser :)