Here's the box. Here is me happily living inside the box. Yep. Happily. When I was 12 my mother went skydiving for her 30th birthday. I assumed she wanted to do this. Come to find out later, she jumped because she did not want to. I do not understand this. I do not do half of the things I want to do because I don't really (insert "have the courage to") want to. Did that make any sense? One of the reasons I did not vote for the current president was his constant call for "change". I do not like change. I do not like it Sam I am. Where is the guy shouting for status quo!? That's the guy who gets my vote! I promise to...never move furniture or change wall decor; never make you change gyms or schools or houses or even clothes if you don't want to. I will never expect you to try new things or make new friends. Things will stay exactly like they are now. Yippee! Sign me up for that plan. Ya, ya I know...lame.
As the children put up Christmas decorations this week, I found myself short of breath whenever I had to move something to make way for something else. Brother and I have discussed this in the past (and I really hope that my mother does not read this because she will feel horribly guilty, but it is not her fault, so on I type). We grew up in a home of constant change. We moved every year or two. By the time I left for college I had lived in about 14 different homes. Even when we did stay put, the furniture moved every other month. Needless to say, different people handle this upbringing differently. I hate change. My little brother hates stagnation. We both have issues.
Happy note: I am working on it. I have tried a couple of new things over the last two years. It is a slow process, Ok! Basically I learned that I do not like hummus or tahini. But at least I tried. Now can I give up, right? Ya, ya, I know what all of you free-thinking, fearless, hopey-changey types are saying...No way Chica...find the adventure...carpe freakin' diem! Whatever.
Truth be told, I have given in recently and let the daring side of NatureGirl step out and open her box up to some new experiences. I tell ya, Pandora could not have gotten the top back on quicker! Yikes!!! When I think about it I just want to hide my head under the covers with a flashlight and a good book. Even a mediocre book would do really.
Ok, now before this gets too depressing I will tell you. I am not giving up. Ok, well, not entirely anyway. Deep down, in that part of my soul that is not completely terrified of people and things, you know, that tiny little spark of hope at the bottom of the box, I want to try. I am not making any promises of course, but...baby steps.
1. Make a new friend
2. Change the decor of the hall bath and the family room (both rooms I hate and am sick of but would rather live with that than have change)
3. Take at least one step toward a thing that I have always wanted to do except I am too chicken (may not actually go through with this one)
4. Try something that truly terrifies me (or this one either)
5. Open to suggestions
Where do I go from here? For those of you who have successfully exited the box, or were born on the outside...please, share. I am open to suggestions and may try a few on air...ok well, you know, here on the blog. I realize there is no "air" to speak of here, or in the box for that matter. Hey, help get me out of here...I can't breath...
Quote of the Day: "There is nothing so stable as change."
--Bob Dylan stinkin' genius
Yes, change can be hard, but it can also be good. I am also kind of a status quo gal. I grew up in the same house and lived there until I got married. When my parents sold the house I was a little worried about it, but it was a GOOD change. I too have things I want to change in my life. Why is it so hard to make a change? I don't know...can't figure it out.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Do you want to go bowling? I'm serious.
P.S.S. Changing decor is SO MUCH FUN!
Hey NatureGirl, I just came across your blog somehow, and was completely entertained by your last post. Sounds like our lives were very similar growing up. Seems like we were moving every 6 months. Good luck with your endeavors, and by the way, I can be your "new friend" :) Anyway, I recently started a new blog, hoping to connect with other moms and gather advice and information. Feel free to check it out, and leave me comments of advice or opinions :)
ReplyDeleteGoodness, you are really like your auntie (except for that voting business). And I KNEW your mother didn't want to jump....
ReplyDeleteMy advice. . . go for it!
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to change anything that is good or that you like, just change in the areas where you want to stretch a bit. I used to be terrified of change, because I was terrified of failure. (An issue I am sure I got from my mother:-) But when I learned that a change can be temporary (If you don't like the new decor you can change it again) and a new friend will only enrich your life, (and if that friend doesn't--find another new friend) I became less fearful and much more adventurous. Not that I would ever be listed in "Who's Who" for adventurous people, but I did get braver--and life got a lot more fun. :-)
I recently read a book that opened my eyes about the ways we are conditioned by our parents, (not that they do it consciously) in childhood. We then become like them or the opposite, for reaction.
ReplyDeleteThe way to exit is to recognise it, that was their way, it has nothing to do with us, how we are now, let's start doing things the way we like.
Good luck!
You can make a new friend if you want, just don't replace me, ok? ;)
ReplyDelete