Friday, May 27, 2011

FedUP: Luddites Unite!

This was absolutely the last time she would do it. She would put her foot down this time. Tell her husband "No" and mean it. Yet here they were. On the threshold of yet another cellphone store. She hated this. Shopping for a new phone. Even before she entered the store, she knew what to expect. Through the window of the cellular store she could see the sales clerks that she knew were not yet thirteen years old.  Seriously, why was she expected to conduct business with a junior high cheerleader? "I can't face it." She said to her husband. He took her by the hand and lead her into the store. The conversation in the car was still racing through her head.  


"The sales chick is gonna tell me junk about the latest super-phone-with-buttons-and features-and-apps-up-the-wazoo, and then I'm gonna have to feign interest just long enough to say, 'really all I need is a phone...Texting would be nice.'  Then she is gonna giggle, and rattle off some scripted, overly rehearsed, totally unconvincing sales speech about this super-camera-phone-with-buttons-and-features-and-apps-up-the-wazoo that I just have to have!  Then I will have to try to convince Barbie that all I really need a simple phone...nothing fancy.  She'll look at me like a I am some sort of elderly luddite and direct me to the display of 30 phones that come in 68 stupid colors.  I cannot handle it, Honey.  I just want a @#*!* PHONE! " 


And yet here she was, yet again. Barbie quickly approached with the obligatory, painted on smile. "Hi!" she veritably shouted into the quiet of the store. "I totally bet I know exActly what you are looking for!" She was wrong.


This was for a writing prompt over at TheRedDressClub. This week we were asked to write a post starting with the words "This was absolutely the last time" and ending with "She was wrong". 
FYI: the photo is of a phone exactly like my first cell phone...I still have the same number.


Quote of the Day: "If The Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me." ~ Jimmy Buffet

13 comments:

  1. I love this and can totally relate. Got my first cell phone at 37. Still hate it.

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  2. HAHAHA This reminds me of my mom!! I totally agree, I don't want a smart phone. I have a computer for a reason, I have a digital camera, I don't need it on a phone!!! PS - I'm from SE Idaho too, made me excited to read from a bloggie in the same area!

    Found you from TRDC - Red Writing Hood

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  3. Loved your piece and the smile it brought to my face. I have to tell you though I love the phones with everything!

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  4. This was great, very funny! I like how you worked with the prompt :)

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  5. I just got my first cell phone a year ago-just for emergencies. I still look on it as a foreign intrusion in my life. I can just picture the sales girl in your writing-who would look on any one over the age of 25 as a dinosaur. I'm perfectly happy being a dinosaur:)

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  6. PS my twitter is @fluteitup - lets be buddies!!

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  7. This is so funny. My husband is obsessed with phones. I just send him in and sit on one of those mall couches and read. It makes us both happier. He can come out with whatever phone he so desires. I actually have come around to the phones that do it all. Now, I can catch up on writing stuff even when I'm waiting somewhere. Do I sound like the salesgirl now?

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  8. When I got my first phone I would hold it next to my face in front of the mirror and pretend I was going to get beamed up. I like new phones, maybe you can pretend yours is a Star Trek accessory to help you feel better?

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  9. It's not that I don't like technology, it's that I HATE phones. My phone is for talking to my mom, my husband, and an alarm clock. Anyone else who calls almost inevitably gets an e-mail in response to their voice mail. My husband's phone gets turned on every few days so he can check his messages. We are not phone people in our home.

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  10. I got a good chuckle at the end. LOL. Oh this is so true. I have a droid, so I like all the bells and whistles.

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  11. Oh my goodness stop being old!!!! For crying out loud-you are too young to be this afraid of technology! And I mean it! Phones are awesome-they come with books that tell you how to push the buttons, and believe me if all these 13-year-olds can figure them out, I feel confident you can too!! I LOVE my phone-if I need to get somewhere a nice lady voice tells me where to turn and when, I can play boggle, and track my menstrual cycle-I even have an app that scans barcodes on food and tells me how many calories I eat a day!! This is simplicity-instead of a bag containing a camera, journal, gps, computer, and tv I have a small phone! Wonderful!

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  12. Gosh, I think you might have been writing about me here.

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  13. I gotta say I used to be the same way...didn't want the gadgets. Then mu husband so sneakily forced his assistant's blackberry in my hand.

    When I discovered I could facebook and e-mail anywhere I went, I was hooked.

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