[patience: n--The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble or suffering with out getting angry, anxious or upset.] Yep, that is what I am lacking. It is funny though, because there are some things that it does not bother me to wait for. When it is Spring, I don't wish for Summer. Or wish for Autumn when it is Summer. I enjoy the season while it is happening. I do not count down the days to Christmas (anymore). Instead, I relish the preparation and anticipation leading up to it. The lady in front of me at the WalMart with a seemingly unending supply of coupons...no problem! I am not anxiously awaiting each stage of life, but rather am loving and living the moments for the joy each stage brings. But sometimes I cannot seem to make this work. Some things make me crazy waiting!! Like teenagers when it is time to get in the car for church! An expected phone call or email. If I start a project, I have to finish it right then! This often keeps me from starting at all, because I know I cannot finish it all at once. I go batty waiting for relationships to work right, arguments to end, and for me to figure out who the heck I am. I need to be willing to just have faith and wait. Wait patiently for that friend who is struggling to come around. End the argument with patience, compassion and empathy. Be ok with a half painted wall for a few days! Cut myself a little slack and figure out that I have quite a while left before I have to have it all figured out.
I am about to begin a journey that promises to help me with this. I have been practicing yoga for a few years, but am now beginning my training to teach. I hope it will be the start of a path to discovering more about me and how I can better relate to those around me. Be a better citizen, wife, mother, sister, friend, disciple. The author Elizabeth Gilbert said, "The reality is that we human beings are constantly leaking our dispositions upon each other." Funny, and true. I am going to TRY to take her advice. She said further, " If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared-most of all- to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself...then truth will not be withheld from you." Woo-hoo here I go!
Quote of the Day: "What lies before us and what lies behind us is nothing compared to what lies within us"--Ralph Waldo Emerson