Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Man, This Fence Is Getting Uncomfortable!

I got a homework assignment. From a friend. Karma I guess, because I gave one to a different friend a couple of weeks ago. That'll teach me to go shooting off my big mouth. Yeah, you are right...I will never learn!
So, MJ (that is the homework assigning friend) is an old pal. We share the same birthday. Year and all, which we both find really fun for some reason. Anyway, I went to her with a dilemma. I am wanting some new experiences in life. I have lots of interests and every so often I go off half-crazed wanting to learn some new thing and jumping in before I even know what I am doing. Hunky Hubby says that I actually rarely do this and anyone who knows me would agree with him, but I FEEL like I do it. Mostly the adventures are all in my head. I do not actually DO any of the crazy things I fantasize about. I am, as they say...boring. Except in my head. There I am Cool. Talented. Interesting and even Risky. Hey, I know! Why don't you all come join me there, then I would not have to actually move from my comfort zone. Whew! Glad we solved that problem.
Ha! You thought I forgot about the homework right? Nope. So, I told MJ that I am feeling kind of, oh I don't know, restless I guess. Summer vacation just ended and I am back to 6 hours a day of time that should be put to good use. Half of which is, leaving me with 3 hours a day. I guess I am just ready for a new challenge. Or outlet perhaps. I get all of these amazing ideas (you know, in my head) and I picture myself doing more and being more and living more. It all sounds so great so I approach Hunky Hubby about it and he says (as usual) "Go for it, Babe!" Mostly because he is crazy and actually DOES the things he feels passionately about and for reasons I have yet to figure out, loves me. Then to top it off MJ says I need to just write it out. Pray, meditate and then just let the feelings and words flow. What is the direction I am to go from here? Let God take the reins for a moment and go forth with faith...
Yeah right? Do I look crazy? I hope this does not sound disrespectful or sacrilegious, but sometime you gotta constrain the Big Guy or he will just let your life get so big and so grand that you do not know what to do with yourself. You know what I mean? So I have not decided yet whether to do the homework assignment. Or whether or not to Go for it, if/when I find out what "it" is. I know it is fear. Of the unknown. Of failure. Mostly of looking stupid. Ugh! I have spent so much of my life looking stupid. Feeling stupid. Feeling like I look like I feel stupid. But there is comfort in predictability. At least I know how to pretend like I am not feeling like I look like I am feeling stupid. You know? Man, this fence is getting uncomfortable!
- -Antoine De Saint-Exupery Author

10 comments:

  1. If you have the time, I say go for it, too. Writing it out can't be that bad. You might even be surprised where your thoughts take you once they're on paper. Good luck!

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  2. First of all - thanks for visiting me. LOVE the description of your blog, too. Love your blog, come to think of it. Gonna follow you after this comment.

    Anyway, good post. I say go for it. I always try to. Learning the piano right now because I said to my fiance, the Bear, "I want to learn piano" one day and the next day I met my teacher and here I still am. I also moved across the ocean to test a relationship that began on vacation in california, continued on an impromptu excursion to mexico and ended in me getting engaged in england.

    Yeah. Maybe I'm not one to give advice about being on the fence.

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  3. DO IT!
    I'm so excited for you.

    Also, about a guest post. I would LOVE an LDS slant. Please do share!

    I am so excited you are going to guest post for Impact Week! YAY!


    This reason I am doing this is because a couple of weeks ago some awesome kids from a local chruch knocked on my door and said that their chruch was having "Impact Week". They wanted to know if they could do any service or at least pray for me. I told them they could mow my lawn, then I jokingly said they could chop down my big 40 tree in the front yard that has been needing to go.

    Anyway, long story short (I'll spare you the details since I was going to blog about it to kick off the "Impact Week") they got a professional tree trimmer and he cut it down for us. AMAZING! We had gotten several estimates to have someone come do it, and it was anywhere from $800-$1200!

    So this is my way of paying it forward, by having my own "Impact Week."

    Please write a post about how God has made an impact in your life and email it to me by October first!
    I know that's kind of vague, but I'm trying not to sway your thoughts.
    If you want more info let me know!

    Love you so much!
    Jackie
    jackie.wins at gmail dot com

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  4. Thanks for coming by my blog. It sounds like you are at a bit of a crossroads in your life.. why don't you try out a few things and see what you enjoy the most. And then go for it! :-) Have a happy day!

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  5. I always love how you write. It is a bit crazy/fun/honest and totally enjoyable to read.

    I grew up in a home where my mother always discouraged me from trying new things. She was fearful of failure and wanted to protect me from getting my feelings hurt looking stupid etc. etc. So I never tried things I wanted to do. Then I met my husband who grew up in a completely different environment. His mother thought he was perfect and could not possibly fail (and if he did it HAD to be someone else's fault) so she always encouraged him (and his siblings) to try new things--completely confident in their ability to succeed.

    My husband does not believe he is perfect, nor does he succeed at everything, but he is not afraid of trying and I have learned to appreciate that--and to encourage my kids to do the same. Our motto has become "The worst that can happen is we fail, and even then we are no better off than we are now." So what if we look stupid, or it doesn't work out. There are alway lessons learned in the effort.

    So my adivce . . . go for it. What is the worst that can happen? :-)

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  6. Thank you so much for stopping by my blog!

    No jewelry for 15 years? So sad. Maybe I'll figure some way around it. :)

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  7. Good read! And go for it, girl.

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  8. Make a list. Post it on your blog(this is more to satisfy my curiousity than anything, but I'm going to pretend it's for you...) and then knock things off one by one. We recently learned that making goals is sharing them-then you have the support in accomplishing them! And I'm soooo curious now as to what you're up to. Oh, and you're not stupid and you've never once looked stupid to me!!!

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  9. I do think we spend a lot more time feeling like we're looking stupid, and feeling stupid then we think anyone else is stupid....

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  10. This is going to be so cliche, but even if you fail, you at least TRIED which is more than a lot of people can say. Dream big, follow the stars, and all that. ;)

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