So, MJ (that is the homework assigning friend) is an old pal. We share the same birthday. Year and all, which we both find really fun for some reason. Anyway, I went to her with a dilemma. I am wanting some new experiences in life. I have lots of interests and every so often I go off half-crazed wanting to learn some new thing and jumping in before I even know what I am doing. Hunky Hubby says that I actually rarely do this and anyone who knows me would agree with him, but I FEEL like I do it. Mostly the adventures are all in my head. I do not actually DO any of the crazy things I fantasize about. I am, as they say...boring. Except in my head. There I am Cool. Talented. Interesting and even Risky. Hey, I know! Why don't you all come join me there, then I would not have to actually move from my comfort zone. Whew! Glad we solved that problem.
Ha! You thought I forgot about the homework right? Nope. So, I told MJ that I am feeling kind of, oh I don't know, restless I guess. Summer vacation just ended and I am back to 6 hours a day of time that should be put to good use. Half of which is, leaving me with 3 hours a day. I guess I am just ready for a new challenge. Or outlet perhaps. I get all of these amazing ideas (you know, in my head) and I picture myself doing more and being more and living more. It all sounds so great so I approach Hunky Hubby about it and he says (as usual) "Go for it, Babe!" Mostly because he is crazy and actually DOES the things he feels passionately about and for reasons I have yet to figure out, loves me. Then to top it off MJ says I need to just write it out. Pray, meditate and then just let the feelings and words flow. What is the direction I am to go from here? Let God take the reins for a moment and go forth with faith...
Yeah right? Do I look crazy? I hope this does not sound disrespectful or sacrilegious, but sometime you gotta constrain the Big Guy or he will just let your life get so big and so grand that you do not know what to do with yourself. You know what I mean? So I have not decided yet whether to do the homework assignment. Or whether or not to Go for it, if/when I find out what "it" is. I know it is fear. Of the unknown. Of failure. Mostly of looking stupid. Ugh! I have spent so much of my life looking stupid. Feeling stupid. Feeling like I look like I feel stupid. But there is comfort in predictability. At least I know how to pretend like I am not feeling like I look like I am feeling stupid. You know? Man, this fence is getting uncomfortable!
Quote of the Day: "“It is in the compelling zest of high adventure and of victory, and in creative action, that man finds his supreme joys.”
- -Antoine De Saint-Exupery Author