Thursday, December 9, 2010

K Is For Kids and Are You Kidding Me!?

After a bit of an hiatus from blogging, I am back. With, I might add, nothing to say. Between Thanksgiving, family visiting and our crazy couple of weeks preceding my daughter's ballet company's Nutcracker performance, I was pretty well booked. But today is the start of my downtime before Christmas. I love the quiet peace that CAN usher in the holiday if we let it. I suppose that is a post for another day. Today is AlpabeThursday, so I am here to talk about Kids. Specifically, my kids I guess. This Holiday season has contradictorily been the same as most years and entirely different.
In actuality, nothing has changed. We have baked gingerbread, attended the Nutcracker, decorated the tree, made new ornaments, wrapped gifts, sang carols and enjoyed the lights and the general festiveness of the pre-holiday season. The difference is that in the back of my mind I know it will never be like this again. You see, this is the last year that our oldest will be living at home full time. Don't get me wrong. I look forward (for her) to this time of exploration and finding her grown-up self. What an exciting time this was in my own life. Going off to college, meeting new people, seeing new things. Independence. I am excited to see her experience that and grow into the woman she is to become. But as the mom? Nope. Not so much. As the mom I think maybe she should just stay home forever; singing to me and writing songs and stories in front of the fire until we both grow old. Sound good? Yeah, I know. I just thought I would have more time.
When they were each born, 18 years seemed like such a long time. It was quite a long time before they each learned to crawl and then walk and then talk. Potty training? Forget it! That took an eternity. The first day of kindergarten seemed as if it would never come. But it came. And went. In the blink of an eye. Then weeks started flying by. And then months and years and now here we are. One is ready to fly from the nest. Ready? Hmmm....I hope she is. That is really my job as a mother. To prepare them to leave. What a sucky job! Feeding and clothing and guiding and nurturing. Pouring your whole heart and soul into this little person; acting excited on the first day of school when all you want to do is wrap them in a blanket and rock them in a chair. Resisting the urge to run away from home the first time they tell you they hate you. Smiling and taking pictures the first time they drive away in the car without you, even though you would rather take out your own appendix with a butter knife because it seems less risky. All that just to have them pack their bags and leave? What the heck! I change my mind. No kids for me. Yeah, I know. That shipped has long sailed. I just know that those days and weeks and years that are flying by will soon turn into decades.
I truly do look forward to seeing what each of my children becomes. The photographer/musician, the astronaut, the architect and the ballerina/baker. They are amazing little people. I can only imagine that they will be even more amazing big people. Who will hopefully bring some new big people into our lives and then make some new little people. (Oh c'mon...all moms hope that is what will happen!) But the selfish part of me just wants to freeze time. To scream, "Wait, I am not ready!"
When our oldest was around 5 or 6, we visited a small amusement park. She reluctantly decided to ride The Dragon, a kiddy roller coaster. Wide-eyed and pale she made the first circle clearly holding back the urge to let out a terrified scream. Her horror was obvious even to the teenage ride operator who stopped the coaster to let her off. When she got off she told us that it was both the most horrendous and most thrilling thing that she had ever experienced. That is me. Right now. Barely holding back the scream and yet somehow thrilling at the ride. I do not know where to even go with it. I am not one for roller coasters ya know and I am not sure how I was even talked into getting on. But I can say for sure...What a ride!
Quotes of the Day: "There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings." ~Hodding Carter, Jr.
"It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge." ~Phyllis Diller

11 comments:

  1. My kids are all grown up now and I am enjoying the same experiences with my grandchildren now.

    It's such fun, isn't it?

    xxoo,

    RMW

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  2. Yikes. I don't look forward to that. Good thing Miss S. is such a great girl!

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  3. Oh, I felt you on this one! The eldest Minion graduated high school last June and is taking online courses at home. I was afraid that he'd be dirty, cold, hungry and naked on the lawn a half hour after moving into a dorm. My daughter says that's what college is for.

    She's never allowed to leave.

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  4. My kids are 10 and 13 and time is flying by way too fast. Thanks for visiting my blog today.

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  5. It is so much easier to give them roots than wings but everything will be o.k.
    Then comes the grandkids and you will think you've died and gone to heaven.

    Thanks for visiting and your sweet comment.Have a great week-end, Annette

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  6. My husband and I were talking about this the other night. We have one married and possibly moving away for post-graduate school. We have teenagers and one will be going to college next year. It is a roller coast ride but a good one!

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  7. I want to freeze time too! my cherubs are growing up so fast I can't keep up with them. As much as I want to watch them progress and grow I also want to keep them young. Great thoughts! Naomi.

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  8. my kids are 24, 16 and 6 ... yeah that's family planning for ya! a lifetime of crazy times! thanks for sharing... k is kids for sure! (:

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  9. Hold on! This is only the beginning!

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  10. Oh the time goes so quickly. I am on Grands and they are growing up and slipping into lives of their own right before my eyes.

    What a ride!

    I really enjoyed reading your post and catching up a bit on your life.

    I hope your hiatus left you refreshed and full of energy!

    Thank you for linking.

    A+

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  11. I remember I couldn't wait to have a 12 year old so I would have built in babysitter. Finally the oldest turned 12 and the next day the other four did. But it really is fun to see your kids grow up. And Christmas is still good because they are so excited to come home--until they get married and have to split time between families. But that is life.

    Best of luck. Enjoy the moment. :-)

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