Thursday, January 21, 2010

Dear Jenny...

Confession time. I have nothing to say. Absolutely nothing. I took a little hiatus after Christmas to just enjoy the holiday and relax, but I have wanted to sit and write for at least a couple of weeks now. One problem. Nothing is coming. But two readers have now asked for a post and I am nothing if not accommodating.
I am not so delusional as to think that I ever say anything earth-shattering or even compelling in any way. Most of the time poignant is even beyond my reach, but I do hope to share. Share a little piece of me. This is something that I am actually not particularly good at. Sharing I mean. Well, feelings that is. Toys? Sure. My Halloween candy (except Snickers)? Of course. Clothes, money, friends, recipes, time, talents...anything...but feelings? Uh, No.
I am, by nature, rather private. I am friendly and some would call me outgoing even, but I keep my deepest feelings exactly that...deep. Always have. But I love to write. Always have. When I was 13 I read The Diary of Anne Frank in 7th grade English. I was struck by the idea that Anne named her diary, "Kitty" as I recall, and wrote to her as one would a letter to a dear friend. That same year I started a journal of my own. "Jenny" was her name and I talked to her faithfully, daily, sometimes hourly from that time until I married at age 21. Somehow that is when the journal writing came to a rather abrupt halt. I still wrote, but it was not the same. I only wrote when something important happened. It became a bit of a record as opposed to the friend that I had written to all those years. I do not know why I stopped. I guess it seemed childish for a grown, married mother to write to an imaginary friend. Hmph! Even saying that makes me sad. Why did I think growing up meant letting go of my imagination?
Truth be told though. It was a piece of me that was important. The writing. I don't make any judgements about whether this is something I am good at or not. It does not really matter. It is a part of who I am. It is a part of what makes me, me. I write. I lost that for so many years. I missed it, but I let it go because...well, I don't know why. But I did.
This blog has, for the last couple of years, given that back to me. All my lovely imaginary friends. A place to share a thought, a feeling, an idea. I don't know who all reads. I usually cannot figure out why anyone does, but I appreciate the place to be me. To do what I do. To write. And today I write about nothing. For the sake of the writing itself. Thank you for listening...now go take back some part of yourself that you let go!
Quote of the Day: "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that,but the really great make you feel that you too can become great."
--Mark Twain writer/philosopher and all around fun guy

4 comments:

  1. Cecelia Steiner-TakahashiJanuary 21, 2010 at 6:27 PM

    Dear "Jenny"; This is "Ardonna", Cecelia's old confidant friend. She used to write to me quitw often, to rid herself of ugly, scary things...Then she tore them up and shredded them, not too long ago. She never wanted her children or grandchildren to know certain things about her past. But now, maybe she can write again, with better hind sight -less gory details- and learn to remember the good things & people in her life. Thanks for being one of her newest friends and inspiration...Ardonna(aka Cecelia)

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  2. I always enjoy reading what you write. You are not only perceptive but you also express your thoughts in an interesting way. I can also relate to being private. I am much the same way. But I write to process my thoughts and feelings so I don't have to tell them to anyone (not everything, mostly just things I am struggling with) Writing just helps me sort things out and be able to put whatever it is behind me and move forward.

    Thanks for the yoga info as well. I appreciate that.

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  3. I loved your writing about "nothing" :) It was fun to read, and I think you are a GREAT writer. I enjoy a lot of things, but haven't really found the one thing that I'm REALLY good at.
    I appreciate your sweet comment on my blog :) Thank you for reading and watching.

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  4. I don't always have something to say. I on occassion take a break from the blog...sometimes I post a lot, and sometimes not so much. It's ok to take a break. These blogs can be consuming at times. :)

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